Changes

This post might contain what some people would consider Too Much Information. If you’re only interested in recipes, I suggest you skip this one.

A little over a year ago, I started having insomnia — in short bouts at first, but it kept getting worse. Several visits to the doctor later, I was finally told a couple of months ago that I am in menopause. I would not say that I took this news gracefully. I really wasn’t expecting to deal with this particular life change for another decade, so I wasn’t at all prepared. My reaction was partly denial, partly a depressing feeling that I’d crested the top of a hill and was now looking down into the abyss. Irrational, I will admit, but transitions are usually tough.

It didn’t help that my insomnia kept getting worse — I can never tell, when I go to bed, whether I will sleep all night, just a little bit or not at all — and I have also gained some weight, which depressed me further since I’d done a fairly good job of losing and keeping off the post-pregnancy pounds. My doctor so helpfully told me that the weight gain had nothing to do with the menopause; I was probably just eating more. I honestly don’t think my eating habits have changed that much, but even if I have been indulging a little more, it’s still an indirect side effect of this wonderful change of life. Feeling tired and slightly blue all the time does not inspire one to eat healthfully.

Still, I’m tired of cringing at my reflection in the mirror, getting blue whenever I see pictures of myself and having a shrinking wardrobe of clothes that look good on me. I’ve resolved to lose some weight this month. I haven’t set a specific goal, other than to get on a downward trend, because I don’t want to be unrealistic and end up disappointing myself. The holidays are not the best time to try to resist temptation, as we all know. If I can lose even a couple of pounds, I think I’ll start feeling better about myself, and that will help with dealing with all the other changes I’m going through, not to mention the whole “mourning my youth” thing.

My strategy is to plan all my meals out a week at a time and stick to the plan. As the holidays get closer, I’ll allow myself a couple of free days per week, but until then, I’m going to try to be strict. I’m basing my eating plan on the simple No-S Diet: no snacks, no sweets, no seconds, except on S-days (Saturday, Sunday and special days). This is a simple plan that I think I can maintain for the long haul, which is the key to a diet that works. Although, I am reserving a small list of healthy snacks just for when I really need them: a cup of yogurt, a handful of almonds, a piece of fruit or a stick of string cheese. I’m also adding no-F (french fries and fried food) and no-W (wine) to the list, since these are particular temptations for me.

This first week, I’m focusing on eating a lot of soups. Eating broth-based soup is a good strategy because soup fills you up while remaining relatively low in calories. I also pack my  soups with vegetables. If all goes well, I’ll post one or two recipes later in the week.

I think it’s okay to allow yourself a period of adjustment, even mourning, when going through a transition in life. But I realized this week that feeling sorry for myself isn’t productive. If I really want to enjoy the next phase of my life, it’s up to me to take control of my own happiness. It doesn’t help to grumble about all the foods I can’t eat anymore (at least, not all the time). It’s better to focus on eating healthy most of the time, feeling good about myself and enjoying my favorites on an occasional basis, like the special treats they are intended to be.

Some Thoughts on Diets

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I get frustrated by nutrition and diet recommendations coming from the news media and even official bodies like doctors and government organizations. The recommendations constantly contradict each other, and no one seems to agree on what you should or should not eat. Foods that were once bad for you, like eggs, are now fine. Foods that were once healthful, like margarine, are now deadly. Now the thinking seems to be shifting from the best diet being one that is low in fat and skimpy on meat to one that is low in carbohydrates and high in protein.

The only thing everyone seems to agree on is that we need to eat more vegetables and cut back on sugar. This advice makes sense, and I can certainly get behind it. But I don’t want to live my life constantly worried about what I am eating or restricting myself from eating any particular food. A life without bread or cookies doesn’t seem worth it somehow. Food should be about taking care of yourself and taking pleasure in life, in my opinion.

Regardless of what you eat, I have found that the real key to losing or maintaining weight is how much you eat. In our efforts to get ourselves to a weight we feel comfortable with, my husband and I have had the most success not when we’ve restricted what we eat but when we control portion sizes. The basic rule is this: Instead of eating everything on the plate, or filling the plate, eat half. Don’t eat to busting, but leave the table still feeling a little hungry. (It generally takes a half-hour after eating to feel satisfaction.) Only eat when truly hungry; no mindless snacking.

When you’re eating less, you naturally cut back on carbs and sweet treats, and start eating more proteins with fat like nuts, cheese and eggs. That’s because protein and fat are naturally more satiating. It’s easier to fuel yourself on less food when they make up more of the diet. But that doesn’t mean that carbohydrates or even the occasional sweet are no longer on the table.

It may seem restrictive, but not allowing yourself processed or packaged foods helps a lot. Treats like cookies, crackers and chips are still allowed, but only if you make them yourself. I’ve even cut way back on bread since I stopped allowing myself to buy processed bread and rolls. (I still allow locally baked loaves, but I’m not buying as much, as I’m challenging myself to bake more of my own bread.)

When it comes to official recommendations on what we should or shouldn’t eat, I tend to discount 99 percent of what I hear. I believe that we don’t really know what’s best for us or what’s harmful, but a little of any one food is not likely to hurt you. When it comes to losing weight or keeping it off, moderation seems to be the key. And if you’re actually enjoying what you do eat, I think you’ll be satisfied eating less of it.

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Some Thoughts on Weight and Diets

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I was having lunch with some of the girls when the conversation turned to weight and diets. I don’t like talking about weight. I think in America we are far too obsessed with it. It has become an unattainable and damaging standard of beauty in this country. Whenever I find myself thinking too much about my weight, I consider that a red flag that I am subscribing to culture-induced norms rather than my own.

I know from personal experience that weight is not simply a function of how much you eat and how little you exercise. We tend to judge people rather harshly because we see the overweight as people who have no discipline. But weight can be affected by so many things, including medical problems. I have a thyroid condition that causes me to lose weight when it flares up. Nothing irks me more than knowing I am unhealthy yet still receiving compliments on how great I look, due to the fact that I have become unusually skinny.

The conversation turned from weight to diets. This is another preoccupation unique to America, that if we only eat exactly the right things, we can have perfect health as well as perfect weight. We just have to find that correct formula, and man, do we keep trying. The bookstores are crowded with books telling you just what to eat for your blood type, your body type and so on, most of it based on dubious science and weird conclusions.

Right now, I most enjoy cooking and eating from the Italian, rustic or bistro French and Mediterranean cuisines. As far as I can tell, they enjoy a very different relationship with food than we Americans. Food is not medicine to them, nor is it evil. Food is something to be relished and enjoyed at mealtime, and not obsessed over otherwise.

I know I need food to be healthy, and I know that food greatly adds to my enjoyment of life. I know I feel best when I don’t overindulge, but it’s okay to have a french fry or a piece of cake or a dish of ice cream or a really nice cheese from time to time. I know I get the greatest satisfaction when I cook a wonderful meal of fresh, seasonal ingredients.

I have made a conscious choice not to obsess over my weight and not to treat food as medicine or as the enemy. And it makes me a little sad to sit down with a group of intelligent women who obviously view weight as an arbiter of success. Life is too short, I say.

And no, I don’t think eating just the right diet will make it longer.